Saturday, January 27, 2007

A Mystical Notion

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.

-The Notebook

I'm a self-confessed hopeless romantic. Naturally, I had no idea what best love is. I'm just a 15-year old girl who once had these juvenile notions of love. I guess I fed myself too much with those fairytales and mushy movies. Those movies that show two persons that were very much attracted with themselves. Sure there will be turbulent days and hey, who could ever forget those villainous characters who do nothing but to devastate the protagonists' life? But in the end, there'll be the undying "..happily ever after" line. I thought that I just had to find my prince and voila!, everything will be alright. And so I experienced to be in the arena of romance. For the first time, I felt that I had the power to do whatever I pleased. I felt truly exceptional of all the people in this atmosphere. But of some natural cause, it ended. It was really hard for me to accept that my romantic delusion was over. I felt that my whole system was disordered and every dream that I had molded in my mind was shattered. But as the old cliché goes, my life must go on.

Now, I am a better person. I have learned a lot from that experience. I realized that I've been deceiving myself for such long time with my sky-high expectations on love. I could not always get what I want but there's no harm in waiting for that right person. I do not want to be those people who can meet strangers and shortly afterward declare that they were meant for each other. I can never be like them because it is never easy to lay open the door to your heart, especially if you had experienced heartbreak

You still can't stop me to watch those mushy movies and read those fantasy-filled books. I still cry and laugh for those heart-touching scenes and pages. I admit that there are still times I'd imagine my life to be like that but at least, now, I do limit myself on excessive dreaming. I once browsed my dad's CD collection and found an old, yet interesting song, which tells the story of two fallen sweethearts whose lives crossed again after a long time. I was struck by the line which goes like this: maybe this time/ it will be love they’ll find/ maybe now they can be more than just friends/ she’s back in his life/ and it feels so right/ maybe this time love won't end//

I wonder if that "magic moment" will happen to me...

Oh, stop... I am dreaming once again...